Amazing Grace // How Sweet the Sound

I glanced at the big pile of dirty dishes in my sink, I thought of once again walking past and acting like I hadn’t seen them. Too late. I boil hot water and look at the dishes. Ew. Do I really have to do these right now? Yes, just do it. Washing dishes is one of my least favorite things to do in this world. I crank up some music extra loud to try to make the washing more enjoyable (and secretly thinking that I can sing louder without my neighbors cringing). My Ugandan neighbors are probably thinking there is something wrong with this crazy mzungu who is singing very loudly out the kitchen window. I smile to myself and keep singing.

I hear the beginning beats of one of my favorite songs and as I listen to the words, I realize just how much this song is resonating deep in my soul.

“Make me broken, so I can be healed // Cause I’m so calloused, and now I can’t feel // I want to run to You, with heart wide open // Make me broken” Yes, Lord! I am broken, I want to run to You, touch my heart and heal me.

“Make me empty, so I can be filled // Cause I’m still holding onto my will // And I’m completed when You are with me // Make me empty” Lord, please, show me Your face, show me Your will!

“Till You are my one desire // Till You are my one true love // Till You are my breath, my everything // Lord please keep making me” Lord, I don’t know what to do, I don’t know where to turn, hear my cry, be my very breath, keep making me into You.

Tears are streaming down my cheeks as my heart is breaking at the kitchen sink. “Make me lonely, so I can be Yours // Till I want no one more than You, Lord // Cause in the darkness, I know You will hold me // Make me lonely” Hold me, sweet Jesus. Wrap me up and out of the darkness and into Your light, I want no one more than You, Lord. Hold me…please.

My prayers have turned into cries and my knees have hit the cold, tile floor. God, I don’t know where You are taking me, but make me patient. God, I want to run to You with arms stretched high, make me broken. God, fill me with Your very presence and Yours alone, make me empty. God, I am scared, give me unconditional faith. God, its so dark here, its so hard, but make me want no one more than You, Lord.

The songs keep coming.

Waiting here for You, with our hands lifted high in praise // And it’s You we adore, singing Alleluia // You are everything You have promised, Your faithfulness is true // We are desperate for Your presence // All we need is You

You stay the same through the ages, Your love never changes // There may be pain in the night, but joy comes in the morning // And when the oceans rage, I don’t have to be afraid // Cause I know that You love me // Your love never fails

You light up our way, You bring a brighter future // You light up our lives, Your love is like no other // We are going to shine, now we are going to shine for You // We won’t fear the night, we are looking straight ahead // Never turning back, counting on Your faithfulness // Oh this God, is our God, even till the end // Standing strong over us, time and time again, even till the end

Amazing grace, how sweet the sound // That saved a wretch like me // I once was lost but now I’m found, was blind, but now I see // My chains are gone, I’ve been set free // My God, my Savior, has ransomed me // And like a flood, His mercy reigns // Unending love, Amazing Grace

God, You are here, You have never left. What a sweet, sweet realization.

This big God of the whole universe loves me, He loves me! And He knows exactly what He is doing with my life,even when I don’t. I want to live my whole life for Him who created me into existence, just like He gave His one and only son for me, for us. I want to praise Him for the big things and the small things. And give all glory to His name. I am small, but He is big. He knows my every thought and heart break, every joy and victory, every defeat and darkness. I want His praise to always be at the tip of my lips, that every nation and tongue would know His name. Even in times when I feel defeated, I will praise His name.

I will rejoice in the fact that when days are hard and I feel defeated, God brings me a sweet little visitor to brighten my day.

I will thank God that when I need a good chuckle, He brings my favorite people to send me funny snapchats and reminds me why I love them so much.

I will be grateful for friendships that last and that are true and beautiful. God brought this one back into my life right when He knew I needed it most.

I will know God takes care of me. He brought me a sweet blessing and second “mom” in Jean who takes cares of me like her own.

I will overcome darkness and despair. I will overcome insecurity, loneliness, and comparison. I will overcome through the Overcomer Himself.