Come thou fount of every blessing, tune my heart to sing thy grace;
Streams of mercy, never ceasing, call for songs of loudest praise.
Teach me some melodious sonnet, sung by flaming tongues above.
Coming to the end of a year has never felt like such a big accomplishment, even relief. 2015 was nothing short of hard. Every step of mine was set in Ugandan soil, with a few steps of Rwanda, and I more often found myself forgetting why I loved this country in the first place. I was tired. Tired of being disappointed and out of place, misunderstood, stared and yelled at, uncomfortable. I was sad. I missed family and friends, weddings, graduations, holidays, celebrations, and annual family camping trips. On the outside I made everything seem okay. I kept asking "God? God, where are You?" It felt so dark.
Looking back over the past 12 months, I realize that God is and was constant. In my mess, when everything felt dark, He was there. When I was asking, "God, where are you?", He was there. He was there in the morning light and the evening sun. He was there in my doubt and my frustration. He was there in July as I walked down the aisle to the one He gave me. Every sleepless night, every tear shed, He was there and He is here. He carried me through every valley and held my hand. He came through for me.
Now I am looking into the face of 2016 and I am excited. A brand new year. A brand new start. I've never been into New Year's resolutions. I always forget about them by February anyways. But this time God gave me one word for the year - pursue.
Above everything else, pursue the Father's heart. Turn my everything to Him and listen. He will lead me to pursue my wild dreams that are God-sized. Pursue joy and leave behind my fear. Fear has no place in my life. It will not overtake me. I must pursue to leave it behind.
Rain or shine, I am ready. I may think I know what this word pursue will look like in the coming year, but I'm sure He has other plans. I am excited!
Psalm 23 has a much deeper meaning for me than it did in years past of only memorizing the scripture and barely scratching the surface. It has been the anchor for my soul. It says that even though I am going through the valley of the shadow of death, there is no reason to fear, because He is with me. He will provide for me, comfort me, protect me, guide me, so much my cup will overflow. And He leaves me with a sweet promise at the end of it all,
Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the Lord
forever.
I encourage you to ask God to give you a word. What is your "one word" this year?